Tags
arnold, birthday cake, canning, cheers, death cab for cutie, exercise, fails, gardening, hails, knee pain, Queen Latifah, rest, scarlett, Shopping, tears, the intruders, tomorrow is another day, Wal-Mart, yoga
Cheers: 30-40 (I stopped counting) jars of canned salsa, jams, pickled vegetables, sauces. House vacuumed, floors mopped, bathroom clean, laundry done, 3 loaves of bread, and 2 dozen cookies.
Tears: The onions in my eyes and hot peppers on my hands.
Cheers: Indigo Salon for listening to my hopes and dreams and then cutting my hair to harmonize with said hopes and dreams. And for telling me that I look “darling.”
This is not what I look like. She is sexy and pretty. I'm darling. There is a difference and I'm cool with that.
Tears: Increasing knee and foot pain that has come to a head. I’m scared and hurting and don’t want to say more right now for the sake of being dramatic when I don’t have solid answers.
Cheers: Wal-Mart for being open at 2AM for knee wraps and cold packs. And for having the best selection of canning jars.
Tears: Being awake at 2AM with knee pain so intense that I went to Wal-Mart to try to find relief. Then continuing to lie awake for the next 2 hours.
Cheers: My mom who supported me as I *tried* to rest from cardiovascular exercise. Resting from my regular routine for 3 out of 5 days is unprecedented, and a small success among a sea of lately failures. Mom was my lifeline this weekend.
Tears: Aside from a few days off the stepmill, I haven’t made any decent progress in my issues alluded to here. I feel like I really wasted a long and open opportunity to do more healing over the past few days. Fail.
Cheers: My husband celebrated his 30th birthday complete with an Arnold cake, friends, go-karting, massive amounts of unhealthy food, car shows, movies, wedding parties, more friends, and a wife who makes him good salsa.
I am clever.
Tears: Getting shot in the eye by an insane water fountain and stepped on with a high heel at the mall.
Cheers: Yoga at CorePower, One Yoga, YogaDownload.com, and with Eoin Finn. And my own routine just for canners.
Tears: Literally. This song that I listened to over and over again while I was driving home from yoga and shopping and going to a movie by myself:
Cheers: My mom again, who canned with me on Sunday…again helping me through my “cardio detox.” She is the BEST. She cleaned my dog too. And she has the most excellent iPod playlists for kitchen work, including Jay Z, Queen Latifah, and this amazingly hilarious song:
Tears: Sore and exhausted. Being on my feet so much and so long…I might not have been doing heart pumping exercise every day, but I feel like I’ve run a marathon.
Cheers: First garden kabocha.
Tears: Last few weeks of garden weather.
Cheers: Naked bathroom cleaning.
Tears: Wishing I had someone to appreciate naked bathroom cleaning. The naked part I guess.
Cheers: Biking this morning and seeing lots of wildlife, then yoga in my dad’s garage. Cheers for my shoe/pedal clips so I can pull with my quads and not push so hard with my knees. Takes some of the strain off.
Tears: With all the great “stuff” I did this weekend and everything I accomplished, I still feel empty and completely disconnected from my Self and my healing and any positive goals I’m probably supposed to have. One of the main reasons I kept myself so busy is because I can’t stand to be in my own head right now. I’m afraid to be still. I’m afraid of what I might do, or not do. I’m afraid of depression deepening, sadness intensifying to an unmanageable state. So I stay too busy to address those fears, and exhaust myself enough to sleep or be forced to focus on physical rather than emotional pains.
Life is about ups and downs, tears and cheers, hails and fails, whatever. And despite the negatives, I treasured up all the positives that I got this weekend. But the negatives weigh, at times too much for this body to take. Epsom salts don’t cure a confused consciousness and ice packs won’t relieve broken-hearted loneliness.
Cheers: Tomorrow is another day. (Another one of my favorite watch-with-mom movies.)
She was strong but sad too. But still, strong. Cheers Scarlett.
Your weekend cheers and tears?
Cheers: Biking with my dad at the beach
Tears: Forgetting sunblock!
Cheers: Getting a new yoga mat!
Tears: paying for it…..
Cheers: Updating my yoga playlist
Tears: forgetting to click “sync” on my ipod!
Eden, you are cute. Hope you are “synched” by now! What is on your iPod by the way? We should share yoga playlists!
I won’t get all soft and cuddly or anything with this comment, but just know that you’re not alone (at least in your racing head and cardio detox.) Cheers to your mom for being such a great friend and cheers to whoever made that cake–was it you? It rocks!
As for me, this may be lame, but I’ll try:
Cheers: Four-day work week!
Tears: Work is going to stink this week.
Cheers: I’ve been keeping with my exercise goals (as in, lack of.)
Tears: See above.
Cheers: It’s starting to feel a bit like fall!
Tears: My garden is done for the year. Boo.
Abbs,
It is Thursday…one day left of your short week. CHEER! I didn’t make the cake but I had the idea! Local bakery cake artist is AMAZING. Ahhh, autumn…I am scouring superstore racks for cheap sweatshirts and fuzzy socks…
Thanks for relating.
Cheers: Having a few meals on the deck, drenched in sunshine.
Tears: Paying bills.
Cheers: Sitting on aforementioned sun-drenched deck while paying bills.
If you feel it may be useful, I would like to offer you distance reiki for your knee and a Tarot reading to perhaps get closer to the heart of the issues you blogged about previously. Email me at cmgaudet at hotmail dot com if you’re interested. Gratis for you, because I appreciate your comments on my blog so very much.
Cheers – going to see the kids at my kids yoga class at the schools, I haven’t seen them all summer.
Tears – back to school work starts up – summer holiday time ends.
Cheers – friend moved into my building this weekend.
Tears – she saw a cockroach and I fear she blames me for recommending our building.
Cheers – the professional exterminator is doing the whole building next week which keeps them at bay.
Tears – dirty secrets being exposed, honestly we only see a cockroach rarely!
Cheers – to everyone who has never seen a cockroach in their living quarters – hope it helps you feel better about your tears!
Too funny Aruna, but EWWWW! I’ve never had a cockroach in my home (not terribly prominent insect in Minnesota cold) but we get mosquitoes like you wouldn’t believe. Also those nasty Asian beetles in the fall, they bite and swarm and smell yucky too.
Still, I’ll take all those over a cockroach.
hey hon! I know I can’t really say anything that will make this go away because I feel the exact same way, literally word for word (get out of my head! :p ) In all seriousness though, i know how hard of a struggle this is and it’s so personal, and such a painfully slow and difficult healing process, so just know that I’m here for you and you’re not alone in this. It WILL get better, but it will take this daily fight.
And I know you’re strong enough because, geez lady! 40 cans??? You must have superwoman arms! I’m going to live with you when I need to hibernate this winter because you’re set for a long long time.
So let’s see, cheers for the weekend-
Reuniting with a friend I haven’t seen since middle school and hanging out several times with her.
Going to a wedding Saturday and dancing til 1 am!
Free day of yoga yesterday and 3 yoga classes and I’m still totally in love with yoga.
Baking awesome bread and homemade poptarts.
Picking myself back up and going about my friday and rest of the weekend as normal despite the worst slip up I’ve had in a long long time on thursday night.
tears-
How nervous going out with new people makes me, letting someone in, still don’t know how to be “present” even though I’m having fun, it feels like the emotion never fully sinks in, I think you understand what I mean, as hard as that is to explain.
The anxiety I still have before big events like weddings, feeling self conscious in a dress, anxiety about staying up late, and not having slept well ALL this week, though I honestly don’t remember the last time I slept well.
Still not feeling like 3 yoga classes is enough exercise and knowing I’m a nut case.
The danger of having baked goods around….
And well, thursday night was terrible, but just as I’m reminding you, I’m reminding myself, one step back is not a failure, it just means you make the next day better and hopefully with time the bad days become less frequent.
Cheers: That my dear canning, yoga-ing friend is making huge, if painful and hard-won, progress in her recovery.
Tears: That she doesn’t know it…yet.
Congrats on staying strong, girl!
Too many tears!! More cheers!
I hope I get to see a picture of your new ‘do. Thinking of you
Mine was cheers and beers. The last of my three sons is getting married and the tradition is for the Becker men to go camping. I don’t think I could do this again, but it was fun anyway.
Tell Nathan happy birthday. The wheels really don’t start falling off until 35.
Pingback: Autumn Reflections Part One: Deep Thoughts « Yogiclarebear’s Blog
Pingback: Moving Mindfully, Part One « Yogiclarebear's Blog